Counting my blessings

Such a funny expression,as if there were a limited number of blessings.
There are quite a few people in my life that I can tell anything to.Just completely let go.The only way to learn trust in my experience is to do just that..trust and let go.That's how I am breaking and have broken through the illusion that I or any of us are alone here.We are all together.

truth

Had a hard time sleeping.Sometimes it's hard to shut my brain off.
I can't afford to live in a vacuum. I check my motives with other people
when I'm living in the truth.If I want to be the big "I Know" I'm in trouble.
It isolates me and I don't want to live in isolation.Sometimes it's painful
interacting or feeling,but it passes.Thinking I have all the answers or always see everything clearly is obviously insane.
I'm with you and you are with me,let's be honest and kind.

Light is information

What is the point of the journey?
I believe the point is to become more authentically who we actually are.
Spiritual beings having a human experience.

How do I interact with my fellows?
I invite them in,and give them a cup of coffee or a hug[etc]
My mother taught [and I knew instinctively it was very important]
Never ask a guest what they want or offer something putting them on the spot.
Just give.

What does one get from giving?
Sharing my self and sharing my stuff whether it be material or emotional
makes me part of something bigger.It banishes the lie that I'm more important
more spiritual,somehow different than my fellow.
It honors their spirit.It undoes isolation.For both or all involved.We are part of the same energy.You are my brother.It's not about me and God it's about me and you.

How do I interact with myself?
Can I accept that I'm part of this energy? Can I accept the gift of coffee or a hug from my brothers? Or am I busy thinking I'm different? Am I worthy?
How many lies and how much isolation do I need to experience to fully actualize as an authentic spiritual being?[plenty it seems]

My personal challenge has been the ability to give but the inability to receive.
Perhaps the biggest misconception of my life[thusfar]
If I hold so much love for my fellows,why am I denying them the opportunity to be more authentic? Why am uninviting them from the party?
Can I be one among many? Or is my need to be different so great that I'm damaging my spirit and in turn my brother's spirit?
If spirit holds so much love for me and I've been invited to the party,why not just go to the party?

If I hold more love for myself
and allow my brother to hug me
aren't I being more authentic?
A spiritual being having a human experience.

Fear is a lie
Isolation is a lie
Unworthiness is a lie

p.s. Meditation allows my spirit to observe
and discover my blocks to being who I actually am